Safety first
Immediate danger, threats, abuse, coercive control, stalking, crisis, or child-safety concerns go to emergency, crisis, advocacy, medical, or official help first.
I’M OVERWHELMED
Choose one safe thing to do today.
You do not need to solve everything at once. Start with safety, then child routine, trusted supports, school/provider coordination, calmer communication, private organization, and official/legal doors only when safety, active orders, or real deadlines require them.
FOCaF does not ask for child names, private allegations, sealed records, medical details, or confidential court materials. Use these tools on your own device or on paper.
SUPPORT-FIRST PATH
Use the least escalated safe step first.
FOCaF now routes families through practical supports before official/legal escalation whenever it is safe to do so. Court, filings, and adversarial steps are not the default path; urgent safety issues, abuse or coercive-control concerns, active orders, and real deadlines still require prompt official or qualified professional help.
Stabilize the child’s routine
Protect sleep, school mornings, meals, belongings, transportation, comfort items, and predictable transitions before adding more paperwork.
Use trusted supports
Lean on safe adults, 211/basic-needs routing, counseling, parent coaching, family supports, and practical helpers who reduce chaos without taking sides.
Coordinate school and providers
Give teachers, counselors, doctors, childcare, and coaches short factual updates focused on routines, attendance, appointments, and child support needs.
Communicate calmly
Use adult-to-adult logistics, short messages, pause-before-send habits, and no child-as-messenger boundaries.
Organize your own records
Keep dates, orders, school notes, appointment reminders, receipts, transportation notes, and questions privately for your own use or proper professional channels.
Official/legal doors only when needed
Use official/legal information for real deadlines, court orders, safety protection, legal-aid eligibility, or when qualified help is necessary. FOCaF does not give legal advice.
Safety comes first
If someone may be unsafe, use emergency, crisis, legal, medical, or local support before using site materials.
Call 911 for emergencies. Call or text 988 for crisis support. In Maine, 211 can route food, housing, health, and local support. If abuse, coercive control, stalking, threats, or child-safety concerns may be involved, seek qualified safety help and do not rely on a worksheet alone.
Open official doorsOpen crisis cardONE THING TODAY
Pick the closest situation. Each branch gives only a few options.
The goal is to reduce overload. Choose one branch, open one page or packet, and stop when you have a safer next step.
Safety
I may be unsafe.
Use emergency, crisis, legal-aid, medical, school, or local official help first. Do not wait on a printable guide if someone is in danger.
Deadlines
I have official/legal paperwork or a deadline soon.
Organize dates, questions, copies, and next calls. Keep it factual and bring private legal questions to qualified help. Do not treat filing as the default if a safer support step will solve the immediate need.
School and care
I need school or provider help.
Send a short, neutral update instead of a full family history. Focus on routines, attendance, appointments, and child support needs.
Support
I need counseling or support.
Look for support that can lower stress before conflict grows: counseling, parent coaching, 211, school supports, transportation help, or service calls.
Communication
I need a calmer message.
Use templates that lower heat, avoid the child-as-messenger problem, and separate facts from feelings without inventing details.
Transitions
I need handoff or transition help.
Reduce preventable friction around pickup, drop-off, belongings, medication, school items, routines, and comfort objects.
Helping role
I’m helping someone else.
Help with transport, printing, childcare, meals, school routines, calls, and calm organization. Avoid inflaming conflict or asking children to choose sides.
Child routine
The child needs steadier routines.
Focus on sleep, school, meals, health, appointments, comfort items, trusted adults, and predictable transitions.
Public review
I’m here for reform review.
Use the RFC and initiative pages for public-policy feedback. Do not send confidential family facts or private records.
What to do next
Write the next step in one sentence.
Examples: “I will call 211 after work.” “I will print the school update sheet.” “I will make three copies of the order.” “I will ask a helper to drive me.” Keep the step small enough to finish today.
What not to do here
Do not send private case facts to FOCaF.
This site does not collect private case facts. Do not submit child names, allegations, medical records, sealed materials, confidential court papers, or private family details. Use qualified local help for private questions.