Today: safety and basics
Check immediate safety, food, housing, transportation, school pickup, medications with adults/providers, and crisis support if needed.
PARENT / CAREGIVER PATH
What to do this week: safety, school, routines, support, then official doors only when needed.
This page is for parents and caregivers who need practical next steps without being pushed straight into conflict. Start with what stabilizes the child and keeps private details private.
Parent triage cards
Choose one useful next step.
This week: school and routines
Stabilize bedtimes, backpack items, school attendance, homework flow, appointments, and a simple transition plan.
This week: one adult message
Use one calm logistics message or ask a qualified helper to review it before sending. Do not route adult messages through a child.
Private records
Keep dates, orders, appointments, school notes, receipts, and communication logs in your own folder. Use initials/private labels where possible.
Support services
Call 211, school supports, counseling/provider options, advocacy, legal aid, or court self-help only as the need requires.
Official/legal lane
Use official/legal doors when there is safety risk, an order, a real deadline, or a question only qualified legal/official help can answer.
Support-first sequence
The order matters.
SafetyEmergency, crisis, abuse, coercive control, deadlines.
Basic needsFood, housing, rides, childcare, health, school day.
RoutinesSleep, backpacks, transitions, school-night plans.
CommunicationShort factual adult messages; no child messengers.
Own recordsPrivate calendars, notes, orders, questions, receipts.
Official/legal doorsUse when safety, orders, process, or deadlines require it.
No private intake
Do not send FOCaF your family records.
Use the tools for your own folder, lawyer, advocate, provider, school meeting, or qualified support person.
Child-burden boundary
Children do not manage adult conflict.
Do not ask children to carry messages, collect proof, choose sides, or comfort adults through the dispute.
Last resort lane
Court is not the first step for every family.
Use official/legal help promptly when safety, coercive control, active orders, or deadlines make it necessary.